The Fleshlight WITH BITE!
The vampire popularity has officially crossed the line. Due to the insane fanfare of Twilight and Vampire Diaries, people are producing anything and everything that they can think of that they can cross promote with the vampire craze. Unfortunately, this brings forth some really insane products that makes you go “WTF?”. Introducing, Fleshlight‘s “Succu Dry” vampire sex toy in a can. If you aren’t familiar with Fleshlight, Fleshlight is a very popular male sex toy manufacturer. Fleshlight’s gimmick is that sex toys are concealed in container that looks like an ordinary flashlight or 16 ounce can (like one of those giant Monster energy drinks). In an effort to tap into the vampire craze, Fleshlight has created a male sex toy that features a vampire mouth and fangs.
Introducing Succu Dry Sex in a Can from Fleshlight, the world’s first vampire inspired sex toy for men. Take a walk on the dark side and get familiar with this pale brew. But be careful! Though this may feel like love at first bite, make sure you have wood poised to penetrate before you get completely drained! Enjoy to excess to ensure encounters with Succu Dry are A-Positive experience.
Fleshlight also called upon internet model/burlesque dancer, Masuimi Max to be the spokeswomen for Succu Dry. I guess you can’t blame Fleshlight for trying to meet the demands of the legions of vampire fanatics. In my opinion, this is ridiculous and scary as shit.
Hit the jump to see the product close up. NSFW (but you should have known that already…)
[gizmodo x fleshlight]
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Twilight, Vampire Diaries, Count Chocula… Unfortunately, vampires are the shit right now. The good ole days of Nosferatu and Bram Stoker seems long gone and I can’t really seem to get into the whole Edward Cullen and the whole sparkly skin deal (I still love Count Chocula though), but whatever. I’ll go with it.
The cool guys and gals over at Harcos feeds the blood sucking masses by releasing their new “out of the box” energy drink. If you weren’t aware, Harcos was the creators behind the popular Mana and Health energy potions which was a huge hit for fans of RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons and MMORPGs like World of Warcraft. Now taping into the the need for more vampire-related goodies, Harcos has made a “Blood Energy Potion”.
New from the makers of Mana and Health Energy Potion comes Blood Energy Potion: the world’s first syntetic blood beverage. The fruit punch flavor packs four hours of energy aling with iron, protein, and electrolytes. Not only does Blood Energy Potion have a similar nutritional makeup to real blood, but it has the same color, look, and consistency. Get real blood nutrients without that real blood taste!
Holy shit?! Blood and electrolytes?! Its a difficult to wrap my head around that pairing, but like most things vampire, I’ll just take it as it is. I love fruit punch so I’m pretty sure I will dig this as well, but the idea of drinking something with the same color and consistency as blood scares me a bit. However, I’ll get over it (not sure if thats a good or bad thing). So for you fangirls (and fanboys) that want to be a vampire like the Cullens, drink up and go run a mile or two.
The Blood Energy Potion will be available right before Halloween and will go a cool $3.99. Its “B Positively” delicious (okay, that shit was lame. Sorry)
You talk like someone from old history…
Olivia Munn is well known as being the host of G4‘s Attack of the Show and also known for being the focal point of many adolescent geek’s wet dreams. Ms. Munn is also known for her random parodies of movies and commericals on Attack of the Show. This time around, in an attempt to connect with Twilight haters, Olivia Munn and the other guy (I forget his name…) from AotS does a parody of Stephanie Meyer‘s Twilight. More than Olivia and that other guy’s part, the beginning with Edward and Bella is hilarious.
Oh yeah… That other guy’s name is Kevin Pereira. Its kind of hard to remember the guy’s name with all the jiggling that goes on Attack of the Show.
Hit the jump to see the video and some random picture of Olivia Munn.
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At the recent MTV video music awards, the newest (and final) trailer for the next installment of the Twilight saga premiered. The new New Moon features more action and emo goodness.
The live action adaptation of L.J. Smith’s novel, The Vampire Diaries premiered last Friday to mixed reviews. The Vampire Diaries takes place in a small town called Fall’s Church (in Virginia) and the story follows a girl named Elena Gilbert (played by Jennifer Rose Locke), who is recovering emotionally from a car accident that took the lives of her parents. While she is trying to gain some normalcy in her life, she befriends a new student named Stefan Salvatore (played by Paul Wesley). What Elena doesn’t know is that Stefan is actually a vampire. Sounds familiar?
Many people have criticized The Vampire Diaries as a blatant rip off of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight. What people didn’t know is that The Vampire Diaries was originally published 14 years before Twilight. While the concept of a human girl falling in love with a vampire is not new, the story follows two very different paths.
I caught the series premiere of The Vampire Dairies to find that in the beginning, it did feel like I was watching a small screen version of Twilight, however, there is a different appeal that I got from The Vampire Diaries that keeps me interested in catching the second episode. What moves the story is Stefan Salvatore and his brother Damon (played by Ian Sommerhalder).
Stefan: Wherever you go, people die.
Damon: That’s a given.
Stefan is similar to Edward Cullen as he is not willing to feed on human blood and feeds on the blood of animals, yet his brother, Damon is the complete opposite for he is willingly attacking and feeding on humans in town. Damon embraces his killer nature while Stefan tries to suppress it. With Damon’s arrival in town, it brings danger to Elena as she is now in Damon’s crosshairs. Little to nothing is explained regarding why Stefan or Damon moved to Fall’s Church, but it is hinted that this is not their first time passing through. Mostly likely questions will be answered as the story prolongs throughout the episodes.
The Vampire Dairies is a nice change for once on CW, as majority of the new shows are about ditzy socialites that I couldn’t give a shit about (Gossip Girls, 90210, Melrose Place), but maybe The Vampire Dairies will develop into an interesting story that will compliment well to those of CW’s other sci-fi/horror series I love to watch such as Supernatural. As of this moment, I will continue checking out the series.
The ongoing war between Twi-hards (Twilight fans) and the “Anti-Twilight” groups wages on as Twitter community member/blogger, @thejohnblog shows us how he felt Twilight should have ended.
Hit the jump to see the proposed alternate ending (HILARIOUS!).
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