Ladies… if you had any plans to audition for Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, get ready to jump and run. Disney has issued a notice to the casting team that no actresses with enhanced breasts will be allowed to be cast in Pirates 4. The filmmakers have issued a casting call for:
“beautiful female fit models. Must be 5ft7in-5ft8in, size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.” .
They have also warned any actresses that are going to try to lie about their “fake boobs” that all actresses will be subject to “show and tell” day which will presumably included a “Hollywood jiggle test” and jogging. As much as these so-called tests sound like a sexual harassment lawsuit in the making, these tests are necessary to determine the authenticity of an actress’ “goods” based on the way it reacts (did someone say bouncy, bouncy?) to specific action movements.
A former casting agent from a previous Pirates movie sheds light on why this ban on enhanced breasts is in place.
“In the last movie, there were enhanced breasts to give that 18th-century whorish look, and men were pretty well padded too, and no one worried,” a former casting agent said. “But times are changing, and the audience can spot false breasts.”
Even Keira Knightley, who played Elizabeth Swan in the previous three installments of Pirates has admitted that she spent over 45 minutes a day in the make up department just to enhance the look of her cleavage in the movies. Everything from strategically placed air brushing and padding was necessary for the cleavage she sported in the movies (see above pix…). Maybe the casting of Penelope Cruz as the new love interest of Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) had more to do with her natural boobies (I love that word) than her ability to act and win Academy Awards.
The only question I have regarding this whole issue about fake boobies (there’s that word again…) is… How do I become a casting directors for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides? I am willing to deal with the pain in the neck that will definitely come with the job. I’m just dedicated like that. /drool
